Finding Humans More Often

How phone-based interactions are making you anxious and depressed.

If you haven’t already, make sure to get your copy of the Moving Offline Q1 printed newsletter! They are printing soon (a sample below) and will be delivered by the end of the month :)

Moving Offline Q1 Samples

---

Introduction

Laughter and cringeworthy expressions filled the room during a recent gathering with friends while watching Dune (1984).¹ Despite the shared amusement at the film's quirks (if I can call them that), our time together was far from wasted. We engaged in lively discussions about the stark differences between the original film and its recent adaptations, analyzing the interpretative choices made by directors, and reflecting on the evolution of cinema over the years. Surprisingly, despite being in front of a screen, the experience felt deeply human.

This encounter reminded me of the concept of a play-based childhood interaction, which I recently encountered in The Anxious Generation. In this insightful book, Jonathan Haidt skillfully illustrates how the generation born after 1995 has been exposed to vastly different conditions that have affected their development and contributed to negative mental health outcomes, largely due to their smartphone-centric upbringing.

Looking back on my own past, I vividly remember the days when accessing the internet meant making a trip to the local internet cafe for a 30-minute or 1-hour session. Renting a desktop computer, I would eagerly dive into various online rabbit holes, immersing myself in the digital world. However, once my allotted time was up, I would promptly return home to engage with my parents or head out to play with friends. It's astonishing to realize that there are individuals in my community who haven't experienced these dynamics firsthand due to the pervasive influence of smartphones and other screen-first technologies in their lives. This is not to say that I do not relate.

Upon moving to Georgia in 2019, I unexpectedly found myself entrenched in a smartphone-centric lifestyle. Despite not having experienced a phone-based childhood myself, I noticed a significant shift in my priorities. Rather than seeking meaningful human connections, I found my screen time soaring to 10-13 hours per day, consumed by a blend of work and entertainment. Recognizing the detrimental impact of this lifestyle, I embarked on my first experiment in simplification with the Light Phone 2, aiming to reclaim a sense of balance and intentionality in my daily life. This journey led to the creation of Moving Offline and tools like the Dumbphone Finder as helpful resources to the community.

However, I empathize with those who feel ensnared in the smartphone-dominated world. Today's post aims to inspire prioritizing human interactions, providing practical insights on how to achieve this balance, and underlining the significance of occasionally disconnecting from your phone.

Schedule and Review

It pains me to admit it, but my wife was right. Taking full ownership of my calendar and being incredibly intentional about scheduling human interactions has had a profound impact on my journey to disconnect from the digital world. My wife has always been a scheduling expert, and in the mere three months that I've dedicated to ensuring every work commitment, social engagement, and personal appointment is meticulously recorded in my calendar, I've come to realize the power of proactive scheduling in maintaining priorities.²

The concept is straightforward: schedule events in advance, review your week ahead before it begins, and execute your plans with a small margin for error. Implementing this approach over the past three months has yielded remarkable results for me. Previously, my interactions with friends and family were often haphazardly arranged, penciled in on paper, or buried somewhere in my online calendar. Now, I have a coffee catch-up time with a friend visiting the Denver area on June 12th (June 12th!). By prioritizing human connection over the hustle and bustle of daily life, I've experienced a significant uptick in meaningful face-to-face interactions.

If you're keen on placing genuine human interaction at the forefront of your priorities, it's essential to schedule appointments with at least a 30-day lead time and no more than 90 days in advance. I've discovered that these timeframes provide a helpful buffer to navigate life's inevitable curveballs while ensuring you carve out dedicated time for the humans in your life. This long-term scheduling strategy not only guarantees time for others but also fosters a sense of anticipation and fulfillment as you look forward to nurturing friendships and other relationships.

Offline Hobbies

In the hectic rhythm of our daily lives, it's all too easy to overlook the significance of offline hobbies. While planning for the future is undoubtedly important, it's the everyday moments that truly define our well-being. These pockets of time, often filled with mundane tasks or fleeting moments of boredom, present unique opportunities for reflection and personal growth. Incorporating human touch in these moments creates a deeper connection to the hobby and lifestyle as a whole.

Whether it's a stroll in your neighborhood or a yoga session, inviting friends to join our hobbies can enhance our dedication to them. Sharing these experiences provides valuable support as we navigate the balance between our digital commitments, work or personal matters, and our longing for offline fulfillment. It's no wonder that having a workout buddy, affectionately called a "swolemate" (who makes these words 😂) in fitness circles, increases the likelihood of physical activity and progress.

As the seasons shift in the Denver area, I've found myself drawn to local running and cycling groups. These outdoor activities not only contribute to my physical well-being but also evoke the joy of play-based interactions. Reflecting on my own childhood, I fondly recall the countless hours spent outdoors, playing soccer with friends and exploring nature on the weekends. These experiences cultivated camaraderie, creativity, and a sense of exploration that shaped my formative years.

Photo by Fat Lads on Unsplash

For those less inclined towards physical pursuits, there's a wealth of other offline activities to explore. Whether it's birdwatching, board games, art gallery visits, or delving into culinary adventures like cooking or soap making, there's something for everyone. It's often said that there's a local group for just about every interest if you take the time to look beyond the surface. By investing time in these offline hobbies, we not only enhance our own well-being but also cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle, grounded in meaningful connections and enriching experiences.

Get Uncomfortable

After exploring a couple of strategies to increase your human interactions, you might still be seeking a more profound challenge. While these suggestions are a good start, they're just scratching the surface. We must confront the sobering reality that we're all grappling with: how we spend our time.

In the not-so-distant future, we'll be asked, "What did you do with your life?" Some will not be able to remember the number of likes they got on their Instagram account or the retweets from their bombastic internet moment.³ Others will retell the experiences they had climbing mountains, eating exotic foods in foreign lands, or the times they swam with dolphins. If you desire an answer that truly fills you with joy, you must be willing to step out of your digital comfort zone and set aside, even for a little while each week, phone-based interactions.

The data on how the latest generations are growing up in a smartphone-centric environment, rather than one focused on offline interactions, is concerning. Just a glance at the graphs above from Jonathan Haidt’s research on the influences on individuals of all ages paints a stark picture. Having recently delved into "The Anxious Generation," I'm troubled by the apparent erosion of offline time. We can label it as digital addiction, and indeed, it's a pervasive issue for many. However, it requires courage to take ownership of our entertainment sources, distractions, and the time we spend idly. We must prioritize human connections over digital distractions. While merging the two realms may seem like an option (FaceTime, Reddit discussions, WhatsApp), it's not the optimal one. Committing to spending our time meaningfully ensures that when we reflect on how we've spent our time, we'll have an answer that satisfies us.

Now, how do we embrace discomfort? Consider attending a neighborhood gathering and striking up conversations with strangers. Enroll in a class at your local community college that introduces you to an unfamiliar concept. Alternatively, reach out to a long-lost friend and invite them to an offline outing. These are just a few ideas to challenge yourself and prioritize meaningful human connections over the screen-saturated world around you. It all starts, however, with the radical commitment to spend more of your life moving offline.

1. Unless you're prepared to invest two hours of your time in a void and plan to enjoy it with friends who'll bring you joy, watching this movie alone is not recommended.

2. I still harbor dissatisfaction for online calendars and eagerly await the day when Merini or a similar service becomes available. In the meantime, I'll continue the tedious task of transferring my online appointments to my trusty physical Notsu cards.

3. I must admit that I did not know about this meme/YouTube video before my wife told me haha. It fits so well with my comment that I had to include it.